Day 11

Today I am going back to school to get a degree in social work. I think merging law a social work will give me the ability to make change.

Day 9

i re-read the poem - The Road Less Traveled today and really tried to understand it as a writer and think about the powerful words and what they meant to me. My understanding today as I see it is that when I chose the road that I wasn't sure about or didn't yet understand was the harder road, that once down the road, there was no turning back. And now that I have been down the road less traveled, I can speak of it and try to explain it and understand the bigness (is that a word?) from traveling it.

Day 7 backwards

If you change the response, you change the behavior.

Day 8

"Have you ever had the experience of stopping so completely, of being in your body so completely, of being in your life so completely, that what you knew and what you didn't know, that what had been and what was yet to come, and the way things are right now, no longer held even the slightest hint of anxiety or discord, a moment of complete presence beyond striving, beyond mere acceptance, beyond the desire to escape or fix anything or plunge ahead, a moment of pure being, no longer in time, a moment of pure seeing, pure feeling, a moment in which life simply is, and that is-ness grabs you by all your senses, all your memories, by your very genes, by your loves, and welcomes you home, that is a taste of mindfulness."

Jon-Kabat Zinn

Day 5 Moving backwards a bit

Yesterday was a rough day because I couldn't shake my head ache. I believe that the head aches are associated with my stress levels and if the stress goes away, maybe the head aches will.

Day 6

Well, I already have skipped 2 days, I think. It is going to be a hard year for staying with this. Anyway, today's thought is: Make this week a productive one.

Day 4

The person who doesn't respond has all of the power. I am trying to figure how to apply this to my toxic relationship. when the perpetrator makes an attach seeking a response. It is important to have no response at all. She called and told me to call him because he was upset and couldn't sleep because he wanted the reality to be different and he suggested that she call. She called and said mean things, totally predictable,and my reaction was predictable. I was in a double bind and called thinking that I could call without responding. But of course, there was an opportunity to respond and I took it rather than taking the road less traveled. I should have not responded and called him when I had something to say. Because I reacted (responded) it is hard now to call when I want to rather than wait.