Part of Liz's journey is for me to

write down how I may have had a part in her formative years and what behaviors she learned from me. I remember that during a time in her life when she should have been developing calm and listening ears, she was watching me lose it because Scott was not supportive or around and was dealing with his own stuff. He worked late, he wanted to work late and advance his career and didn't make being home and cooperating a priority in his life. I met this resistance to us with frustration and anger. I did not know how to cope and I took it out on myself and everyone. How I coped would not have made a difference in Scott's behavior, he viewed any passive behaviors as a concession and giving in to what he wanted. But it would have made a difference in Lizzy. She would not have seen my lack of coping skills and would have learned how to cope properly in the face of adversity.

Now I know that I have to address this with her and talk about what happened, even if she cannot remember. Even if Scott was the catalyst for my behaviors, I need to take responsibilty for what effect the behaviors had on the children.